Only the Lonely...

Well ,things are set with the "short Sale", well set as telling my family I mean. It was hard but I was proud to tell my brother Matt that his credit is safe. I would have died if the word foreclosure was on his credit rating. Matt has worked very hard on his credit all these years and he doesn't deserve that. I do, but he doesn't. Now I just have to wait for the paper work and then I will start the process..I hate the thought of having people walk thru my home but it has to be done.

I have been very lonely these past few weeks...Its been pretty hard. I really thought that Cassandra and Ayden would be around alot more but, nope. Out of sight out of mind I guess. I have been very snippy with Cass because of it but I can't hide my feelings...My mom always said "Karen, you wear your heart on your shoulders" and I cant help it.. It is hard because Cass has been living with me for her entire life, 29 years next week. Also, Ayden will be 5 next month and he too has lived with me since birth. So how can they just walk away from that I don't know but they did. I can't really blame Ayden because when he does see me he is very excited and he tells me that he asked Mommy to bring him to my house but Mommy always says she is to busy...which I do believe! I am not trying to put Cassandra down, its just the way she is, this is the generation she is in, the "Me" Generation. I just thought she would be different in this situation.I know how much she loves me but she just doesn't get it. We are having lunch tomorrow to "Catch up" and I am sure I will have a few choice words for her, and yes I will be teary eyed because even writing this I am teary eyed.
But I can't control that...BUT this lunch was her idea and maybe it is to "Catch up" but I have this sinking feeling its to tell me something else...I could be wrong but I just have the feeling something else is brewing. OMG could she? Would she? be pregnant? Nooooo, right? LOL. Well I guess we will see in my next posting how my lunch went..? Until then....

Packing up..UGH

The thought of packing up my home just makes me sick to my stomach. All the "STUFF" I have collected in the past 6 years is just so much. Never thinking it would come to this. I know I have plenty of time to do it because I have 90 days for the short sale to run it's course, then I can just do the next step which is handing in the Deed in lieu of Foreclosure...I am not happy about leaving my home but I am happy I was able to save my brother's credit as well as mine. I do plan on eventually owning a condo or something small and by doing it this way then I do have a future of doing that. The word "Foreclosure" can follow you forever if it wants to so I am glad I won't have that hanging of my head but more important it won't be on my brother Matthews credit...because yes, he does almost have a perfect score...

So the next couple of months will be hard, I will not be sending the money anymore as per the Mortgage company. So maybe I can save for a apartment or something in the time I have left. BUT we all know how well I am at saving..LOL

I will miss my house but honestly its for the best. I was living on the edge with the payment. If anything went wrong with the house I would have the money to fix it because of such a high payment. Also, its just me and Bailey in a 3 bedroom house..I don't need it...!! My dream is to just pack up and move back to NJ but we all know that once I got there I would miss the hell out of Ayden and Cassandra (Even though I hardly see them anymore) so I know that would  not work. I have a really good job here with Joyce and I need to work with what I have...for now!

It happened..

Well, I finally got "The LETTER" from the mortgage company telling me that they can not come up with a reasonable amount for my house loan...so that is that. I knew it would come sooner or later, but I was hoping for later...

The letter says to call them with my options, ya right! Their options of me loosing my house..this should be a interesting call. I know I have to make the call but I am almost scared they will say that I have to be out by next week....I hope not because I have no clue where I am going yet...They have to give me time, right?

So that is that...):