Diet...what a ugly little word...

I need to do something....I am so sick with my weight......Only I CAN CHANGE THE WAY I LOOK. I don't have a $$  for 7 day trainer, nor do I have any money for the big expensive loose weight programs like "Jenny Craig"or Neutrasystem .Those 2 programs do wonders, but they are also very expensive!!So like I said, only I can make this change, but I just don't have the "DRIVE" to do it.....Ugh!

Its really starting to effect me in my social life also. I don't go out....I just stay home...It has gotten really bad. It started to get worse a couple of weeks ago when I ran into some family members of Alvaro's. I went over to say hello and they acted like they didn't know me...I finally said "Its Karen, Cassandra's Mom"..and they looked at me with such shock in their faces. Spanish people don't hold back either. Oh you look so different, they said. When I walked away I could hear them say "She has gotten so heavy and old looking"...I wanted to melt into my purse....I felt like crap! But hey, its true and that's the worst part about it. I know that the Spanish people over dramatize things but something had to be there for them to say that. I know I am Not a pretty woman because I was never really a pretty girl but at least I always had my figure...I mean when I was six months pregnant I was only 99 pounds...I was SKINNY!!!!

So ,I am going to think long and hard this weekend. I have to make some changes in my life. My stress level does not help me these days at all but I have to find some inner peace with everything , or I will just keep "Blowing up" by the day...So, I'll see what my Inner self tells me this weekend, I hope its something Good, because I need it!...

Lol...