Life....

I can't really say "Why am I so low these days" because I know why, LIFE is why. It will creep up on you and before you know what happened it "Blows Up" in your face. I try to take one day as it comes but its hard. I have always been that way. I worry about tomorrow, and what is going to happen if??? and I need to stop...I was doing so good for a while and I even wrote it on my profile...But these days it's getting so hard.

Needless to say my life has changed immensely in the past 2 years. It all started when I was let go from my job of 14 years. Yes, I lived through it and Yes, I have a good job now but why can't I get over it? When I made the choice to leave for Florida 15 years ago I left a job of 12 years there in NJ, and it was my choice so I guess that is the difference. When I left NJ my best friend through me a going away party of almost 200 people and a quarter of them was from my job. Not just office people but EVERYONE came, including the people that worked in the factory of my company. Some or should I say most of them didn't even speak English but they were there for me...I worked for a company of maybe 30 people and I can safely say almost 90% of them were there...not bad. I am still in touch with some of them today.

But this time it wasn't my choice, I guess that is the difference here. But honestly it may have been the best thing for me for many reasons, and I am very comfortable saying that. Yes, alot of things are "Not Good" right now but if I was there I think it would have been 10 times worse. I was stabbed there, even before I was let go and I knew it but just didn't want to admits it.

I am not surrounded by people that care for me anymore. I am surrounded by people who truly love me. I don't have as many as I did say 10 years ago but I am happy with my choices and I know that some may not be good in the long run but I also know that some will be the best choices I made in my lifetime. I have a whole new "Outlook" on life these days, maybe it's age? Maybe it's the people in my life that have hurt me? or maybe it's just how it should be and if that's what it is then I am going to accept what ever comes my way.