Dust my self off......

Well today is one week since I was Laid off as they call it, I call it "Thrown Away" but I know "Life Goes on" My life as changed from this day on, never to be the same again.

Sometimes I think it was for the best, and other days I say "Why Me" They give me all their reasons why but none of those reasons hold with me. I am very sad about leaving JFK but maybe it means I have to go through this before something better is coming, that is what everyone is telling me. I want to believe that and I will soon but I am still a little bit bitter, hurt and angry. I never thought my Director Denise would have let this happen to me. It just goes to show you how things can change "Like that" and happen when you least expect.

I have been so afraid of not finding a job. I have been on websites every nite up until 2:00am and I will keep looking. Trudy told me that they have 4 options coming up and as of today nothing has happened. They want me to believe in them but it's times like this it's hard to believe in them. I could say to them "Don't bother" but I need all the help I can get right now. I called my work phone number and it's gone already. If you dial my number at work it just just says "This extension is no longer a working number please call the main HR Extension" It's crazy because I still wake up in the morning and my first thought is "Work I have to get ready" that has happended to me at least 3 times this week. I also think about the projects I had going and for one small instant I think I will go onto work on Monday and fix it and then it hits me, I don't work there anymore, I don't know why I expected any thing different but it's only been a week. When they say "Your Gone" you are gone.

I guess I just have to "Pick myself up" and start all over again.I have to, all I have done all this week is just sat around feeling sorry for myself, emailing myco-workers and just looking for more heartache. So as of Monday I will:

1) Pick myself up

2) Dust my self off

3) and start all over again...

Only God knows how my life will go, and I have

faith he knows what is best for me. I would love to

say one day "It was the best thing for me getting laid off"

I can only hope